Q: I am the single parent of a son who recently turned 13 yrs old. I spoke to a rabbi last year about finding out what steps needed to be taken so he could be bar mitzvahed and was told that he would have to study Hebrew for 2 years. No one in my family speaks any Hebrew, and quite honestly, it is all that I can do to make certain that my son does his regular school work so the idea of trying to force even more studying on him is not a pleasant one (besides the fact that with that timetable he could not possibly be bar mitzvahed at 13). I feel it is very important for my son to explore and embrace his Jewish heritage and he was looking forward to this as well. To further complicate matters, he would like all of his friends (all non-Jews) to attend, and we may be relocating for employment purposes rather soon. Is there some way of getting him the study that he needs so that he can still have the bar mitzvah that he wants without having to wait 2 years. I don't know what my denomination is but I am closest to "reformed" or 'Reconstructionist." I would appreciate any help or advice that you can give me.

A: I understand your problem. The larger issue is that most synagogues -- for all the right reasons -- have rules about the amount of time that youngters must spend in Jewish education in order to become Bar Mitzvah. The reasons for those rules are: 1. So that kids have a grounding in Judaism. 2. So that the synagogue does not become just a Bar Mitzvah factory. Actually, two years is a short period of time to require, compared to other synagogues, including mine.